Early signs your older relative may need more support
As people age, it is natural for changes in physical health, memory, and day to day abilities to occur.
However, when these changes start affecting safety, independence, or wellbeing, it may be time to consider extra support.
Difficulty with daily tasks
One of the first signs more help is needed is when everyday tasks have become overwhelming.
Examples may include:
- Struggling with personal hygiene such as bathing, grooming, or dressing.
- Difficulty preparing meals, leading to skipped meals or poor nutrition.
- A noticeable build-up of household chores, such as laundry or dishes.
- Relying more on family/whānau to complete basic activities.
If you are caring for elderly parents at home, these small but frequent challenges can become emotionally and physically demanding over time. Extra support can help them feel more comfortable while reducing family/whānau stress.
Missed medication or issues with health management
Another common sign of an increased need for support is someone having trouble keeping track of their medications or health routines. Examples of this may include:
- Forgetting medication doses or accidentally taking too much.
- Confusion over prescriptions, especially when multiple medications are involved.
- Worsening health conditions because treatments are not followed correctly.
Elderly medication management is a frequent concern for family/whānau, with mistakes potentially leading to serious health complications. Support can come in the form of medication blister packs, in-home nursing visits, or digital reminders, depending on the level of need.
Physical signs of needing support
Mobility issues can put older people at risk of falls or injuries. Examples of this may include:
- Unsteadiness or difficulty walking.
- Frequent trips or falls, even minor ones.
- Struggling to get up from a chair, bed, or the bathroom.
Cognitive and emotional indicators
Changes in memory or behaviour may signal a need for extra help. These may include:
- Signs of cognitive decline, such as forgetting familiar names, dates, or routines.
- Confusion about time, place, or familiar environments.
- Withdrawal from friends, family/whānau, or favourite hobbies.
- Feelings of sadness, anxiety, or agitation.
Social isolation in seniors can worsen physical and mental health, while companionship and community activities can improve mood and quality of life. Identifying these changes early can guide family/whānau toward supportive options like day programmes or community support groups.
Recognising caregiver stress
Supporting an older family member can be deeply meaningful, however can also be a challenge.
Signs of caregiver stress or burnout may include:
- Constant fatigue or difficulty sleeping.
- Irritability, frustration, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
- Declining physical health due to lack of self-care.
- A sense of guilt when needing a break.
Family/whānau caregiver burnout is common when responsibilities increase. Acknowledging the strain doesn’t mean you have failed; it means you are human. Respite care, support groups, or professional home care can provide much-needed relief while ensuring your elderly relative remains safe and supported.
Emotional considerations for family/whānau and older relatives
Conversations about increasing support can be emotional for everyone involved. Family/whānau often feel guilt, while older relatives may fear losing independence. These feelings are natural. Try to approach the conversation with empathy and openness:
- Acknowledge emotions: Share that it is okay to feel uncertain or worried.
- Encourage involvement: Involve your older family member in discussions about their care needs.
- Focus on positives: Emphasise that support can help them live safely and happily.
- Reframe the decision: Seeking help is not a failure, it is a proactive step towards safety and wellbeing.
When looking after elderly parents at home, framing the decision around comfort, safety, and wellbeing can reduce defensiveness and help everyone feel heard and included in the process.
Options for support
Home care services *
Home care services in New Zealand allow older people to stay in their familiar environment while receiving practical help. This might include:
- Assistance with personal care, meals, and cleaning.
- Help with mobility and fall prevention.
- Support for elderly medication management.
Government-funded home support for seniors is available through a Needs Assessment and Service Coordination (NASCA) agency, while private providers can offer additional flexibility. The right option often depends on how much support is needed now — and whether needs may increase in the future.
*Bupa does not currently provide in-home care services but offers short stay services and permanent rest home, hospital, dementia or psychogeriatric care services across many of its New Zealand care homes.
Respite care and short stay services
Respite care offers temporary care for older people, giving family/whānau caregivers time to rest, attend to personal needs, or take a holiday. This option helps prevent caregiver burnout while ensuring your loved one is safe and supported.
Some people use our short stay services to trial a care home environment, helping relatives adjust gradually.
Care home vs home care
Sometimes, care needs increase beyond what can be provided safely at home. Understanding the difference between care home vs home care can help you plan ahead.
- Home care allows people to remain at home with flexible support, but it may not cover complex or advanced medical needs.
- Care homes, provide 24/7 support, companionship, meals, and healthcare in a safe environment.
For more information, see our guide to understand the signs that you or your relative may need to consider a care home.
Taking the next step for increased support
If you have noticed some of these signs in your older family/whānau, the next step does not have to feel overwhelming.
Practical ways to begin can include:
- Booking a Needs Assessment through your local NASC service to see what government-funded support may be available.
- Exploring short stays or respite care to trial different care environments.
- Visiting local care homes to see what options feel right for your family/whānau.
Recognising when your older relatives need more support can feel daunting, but you do not have to make the journey alone. Whether it is small changes like home modifications for elderly safety, or bigger decisions about aged care services, the goal is always the same: to ensure you and your elderly relatives are safe, while feeling comfortable and supported.
At Bupa, we know these decisions carry both practical and emotional weight. Our role is to make things easier by offering expertise, compassionate care, and reassurance for both residents and their family/whānau.