It can also be difficult to know what to ask during a tour of a care home. You may worry about forgetting important questions or perhaps feeling overwhelmed in the moment. A visit to a care home isn’t about finding all the answers straight away. It’s about understanding what daily life is like in the home, how care is planned and reviewed, and how you can stay involved once your relative has moved in.
This article shares key themes for questions you may like to ask to support your visit and help you feel more confident. There is no pressure to decide on the day whether a move to a care home is right for your relative. Many people find it helpful to return for another visit or follow up with questions afterwards.
Why touring a care home matters
A care home tour helps turn written information into something more tangible. It gives you the chance to observe how residents at the care home are spoken to, what the care offered feels like in practise, and how residents spend their time day to day.
Visiting a care home in person can also help you:
- Understand the atmosphere and energy of the home
- Observe how the care home team interact with residents
- Envisage whether your relative might feel comfortable and supported there
There is no such thing as a “perfect” tour of a care home. It is common to take notes, leave with questions, or simply realise you need time to reflect. Touring a care home is one part of a bigger decision, and it is reasonable to take things at your own pace.
If you are early in the process, you may find it helpful to read our article about choosing a suitable care home.
Before your visit
You don’t need to have everything figured out before touring a care home. Before you visit, it can help to think about what matters most to your relative, for example:
- Comfort and privacy
- Familiar routines or preferences
- Cultural, spiritual, or language needs
- Staying connected with family/whānau and community
Bringing these priorities into the conversation can help guide your questions for the care home team when you visit.
You may also find it useful to:
- Write down a few key questions in advance
- Bring another family/whānau member for support
- Plan a second visit at a different time of day, if possible.
There is no expectation to cover everything in one visit. You can always follow up after your first visit.
Understanding day-to-day life
One of the most helpful things a tour can offer is a clear picture of what everyday life is like in the care home. It can help you understand routines, flexibility, and how much choice residents have.
You may want to ask:
- “What is a typical day like here for residents?”
- “How flexible are your waking up and bedtime routines and mealtimes?
- “How do you support residents’ privacy and dignity in their everyday care?”
- “How do you find out what matters most to each resident who lives here?”
- “How do you support differing needs or preferences of residents, for example those who prefer quieter days, and those who embrace social activities?”
Hearing real-life examples of how residents’ preferences are respected can be reassuring, especially if your relative has routines that give them comfort and provide familiarity.
Food and comfort: meals, preferences,
and dietary needs
Food plays a big role in comfort, routine, and enjoyment. Asking the care home team about their approach to meals, mealtimes, and flexibility with residents’ preferences, can give you a good sense of daily life in the care home.
Things you may like to ask about during your visit include:
- How meal choices work and whether alternatives are offered
- How dietary needs and cultural preferences are supported
- Whether residents have flexible access to snacks, tea, and coffee outside of set meal times
Some family/whānau find it helpful to ask whether they can view a sample menu or sit in on a meal during a visit. Seeing how shared spaces feel at mealtimes can provide reassurance about comfort, atmosphere, and give you a true feel for what life is like in the care home.
Support over time: how needs are reviewed and adjusted
Family/whānau often feel unsure about what the future may hold, especially if their relative’s needs are likely to change. To better understand how needs will be supported over time, it’s important to discuss:
- How care plans are created and reviewed over time
- How changes in needs are identified and supported
- How family/whānau are kept informed as care evolves
You could ask:
- “How often are care plans reviewed?”
- “How are family/whānau involved if their relative’s needs change over time?”
- “How often does the medical team review residents?”
Understanding the process can help you feel more confident that care will adapt if and when needs change. Explore Care planning at Bupa for more.
Communication and family/whānau involvement
Clear communication can make a big difference once your relative is living in a care home. Knowing how information is shared, who to speak to, and how you stay involved, can help reduce uncertainty and build trust over time.
During a tour, it can be helpful to understand how communication with you will work day to day, not just in emergencies, to give you a clear picture of how supported and informed you will feel.
Important considerations include:
- Who your main point of contact would be, and whether that person remains consistent over time
- How updates are provided – for example a phone call, meeting, written notes
- How family/whānau are involved in care planning and reviews, especially when needs change
Helpful questions include:
- “Who would we talk to if we have a question once our relative is living here?”
- “How are we involved in care planning and reviews?”
It can also be useful to ask how the care home team prefers questions or concerns to be raised.
Listening to how these answers are explained can be just as important as the information itself. Clear, calm explanations and a willingness to talk things through are often a good sign that communication is treated as an ongoing partnership.
Clinical support and safety
During your visit, it can help to ask questions about both gradual and sudden changes in your relative's needs.
You may want to ask about:
- How day-to-day health changes are noticed, including subtle shifts in appetite, sleep, mood, mobility, or engagement
- What happens if there is a sudden change, and how you will be contacted
- How decisions are made and recorded, and who is involved in the process
Helpful questions include:
- “If our relative’s health changes, how is that usually picked up?”
- “If our relative becomes unwell, what would happen next?”
- “How and when would we be informed if there was a concern, or if something changes?”
- “How are ongoing health needs reviewed over time?”
If your relative is living with dementia, you may also want to ask how the care home team works with family/whānau when behaviour or wellbeing changes.
Helpful questions include:
- “How do you get to know what is normal for each person, so changes are noticed early?”
- “If there are changes in mood, confusion, or behaviour, how do you respond and keep family/whānau updated?”
Wellbeing, activities, and staying connected
Quality of life in a care home is not only about health support - feeling engaged, comfortable, and connected matters too. For many family/whānau, it helps to understand how the home supports different personalities and preferences, including people who enjoy group activities and those who prefer quieter routines.
You may like to ask about:
- Activities and social opportunities, and how residents are invited to take part without feeling pressured
- Support for quieter residents, including one-on-one interaction and gentle encouragement
- How visits work, including whether there are comfortable places to sit together and spend time as a family/whānau
Helpful questions include:
- “What kinds of activities are offered, and how do you tailor them to different interests and abilities?”
- “If someone is quieter or prefers their own space, how do you support them to feel connected?”
- “How do people usually spend time together when they visit?”
If it is a priority for your family/whānau, it can also help to ask how the home supports connection when it becomes harder over time, including if your relative is living with dementia. Things to consider include whether the care home feels flexible, patient, and willing to help find what works for your relative.
Costs, funding, and paperwork
Conversations about costs can feel uncomfortable, especially when you are already navigating health changes and big decisions. Many family/whānau find it helpful to have costs explained clearly then be given time to reflect at home, read the information slowly, then come back with any questions.
A tour can be a good time to ask about:
- What is included in standard care charges, and what those charges cover day to day
- What may be optional or charged separately, including any upgraded room options or additional services (where applicable)
- How billing works, including during transitions (for example, while funding is being confirmed)
Helpful questions include:
- “What is included in the standard care charges?”
- “Are there any optional extras we should be aware of?”
- “If we are applying for funding support, what typically happens while we wait for an outcome?”
It is also reasonable to ask for time to read through the paperwork. We encourage you to:
- Take the documents away to read
- Ask follow-up questions later
- Seek independent advice before signing anything
For further information you can refer to our articles about understanding your care home agreement, our billing page with useful resources, and other official New Zealand support pathways for funding.
What to look out for during your visit
Alongside the questions you ask, your observations and instincts are important. Sometimes it’s the little things that help you understand how a care home feels day to day.
As you walk through the care home, you might notice:
- How residents are spoken to, including tone, patience, and respect
- Whether the residents seem comfortable and supported,
- The environment, including whether it feels calm, rushed, or unsettled
- Shared spaces and quiet spaces, and whether there is room for privacy and connection
- Cleanliness and general upkeep, especially in dining rooms, lounges, and hallways
Taking the next step
After a tour, it is normal (and encouraged) to take time to reflect.
It can be helpful to follow up with the care home team if you feel you have unanswered questions or request written information to review at home. You may like to return to the care home for a second visit at a different time of day, which enables you to experience different routines and everyday life in the home.
When you feel ready, you can book a visit to a Bupa care home near you or contact us to talk through your questions.