Subtle signs someone’s needs might be changing
Changes in health, behaviour, or ability to cope with daily routines can be easy to overlook, especially when you see your family member or friend on a regular basis. Paying attention to subtle signs such as those listed below, can help you support your family member or friend before their needs become great, or a crisis point is reached.
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1. Increased confusion or memory loss
A common early sign of cognitive decline is forgetfulness. But this isn’t just about misplacing the car keys - other important signs can include:
- Repeating questions or stories
- Missing appointments
- Confusion about times, dates, or familiar locations
- Struggling to follow conversations or tasks that were once achieved with ease
These signs can all be indicative of dementia, or another condition affecting your friend or family member’s cognitive function. Early intervention and support can make a big difference in your family member or friend’s care journey.
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2. Confusion with medication
Managing medication can become complex with age, especially when multiple prescriptions are involved. You might notice:
- Medication not being taken at the right times
- Pills missed, doubled-up, or taken inconsistently
- Confusion about what each medication is for
If you notice full blister packs or a growing pile of unused medications, this is a warning sign that your family member or friend may require additional support.
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3. Going out less – or not at all
- Your family member or friend may start to isolate themselves, either intentionally, through fear or fatigue, or due to overwhelm or loss of mobility. Things to consider include:
- Not attending social events they used to enjoy
- Increased anxiety about leaving the house
- Talking about a fear of falling, or difficulty with mobility
- No longer attending, or showing interest in, regular outings such as shopping or walks
Social isolation can affect mood, memory, physical health, and confidence, and may be a sign that more support is needed.
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4. Signs of self-neglect or difficulty maintaining the home
If you’ve noticed your family member or friend’s home is less tidy than it used to be, or their personal appearance has changed, these can be signs of someone needing additional support. Other things to watch out for include:
- Unwashed dishes, laundry, or more clutter piling up
- Unopened mail or unpaid bills
- Poor hygiene or wearing the same clothes day after day
- Weight loss, signs of malnutrition, or eating irregularly
It can be hard for someone to admit they need help or are struggling, which is why these visible signs above can help you gently initiate a conversation with your family member or friend.
How to talk about it – and what to do next
Recognising a change in your family member or friend’s behaviour is the first step. Your next step - talking to them about it - can be challenging.
Here are some ways to start the conversation:
Approach with empathy
It’s natural for people to resist help or fear losing their independence. Start with how you feel and what you’ve noticed:
“I’ve noticed you seem more tired lately, I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do to help?”
“I’ve seen a few of your pills left in the organiser/not taken. I know managing medication can be tricky, shall we talk to your GP together?”
It helps to focus on care and concern, not criticism or control. It may take a few conversations, perhaps even with a few different family members or a professional, before your family member feels ready to talk about their challenges and need for support. Try to be patient, and persistent.
Learn more about signs your family member or friend may need more support at home, and how to have compassionate conversations about care with an ageing family member or friend.
Visiting the GP: What to expect
A visit to the GP is a valuable next step - for reassurance, answers, and support. The GP may:
- Conduct a health check and review medications
- Ask about recent changes in behaviour or mood
- Recommend a short stay in care to provide respite
- Refer your family member or friend for a needs assessment
Next steps
A GP visit may also provide information about further options for care and support at home, or your GP may refer your family member or friend for a needs assessment through your local NASC (Needs Assessment and Service Coordination) service.
Learn more about organising a needs assessment and the needs assessment process.
Bupa is here to help
We know this process can be emotional and at times overwhelming. That’s why our team is here to help you explore your options, answer your questions, and support you and your family member or friend with empathy and advice.
You don’t need to have all the answers straight away. Even if you’re not sure whether care is needed, we’re happy to chat and help you figure out next steps. Trusting your instincts and seeking support early can lead to better outcomes, for your family member or friend, as well as yourself.
Whether you’re looking for peace of mind or beginning a care journey, help is available - you’re not alone.
