How to be a friend to someone with dementia
A lot is written about the symptoms of dementia, but how can we best be a friend to someone with dementia?
Nine thoughts – showing your friendship
1. By remembering that the disease isn't their fault, you may find it easier to be sympathetic and patient. Respect and patience are hugely important.
Try to be positive, and let them know how important they are to you.
“It’s nice to be treated like everybody else and not feel separated.”
John, living with dementia
2. Be a good listener
Make time to listen carefully, and allow the person time to explain. Dementia makes it harder to process information, and to communicate.
Often people need a chance to express how they feel, rather than looking for practical solutions.
“You need to let the person think. The answers don’t come as quickly as they used to.”
Leslie, living with dementia
3. Communicate clearly and calmly
Taking time and making eye contact can make a big difference to a conversation. Wait for signs that the person has understood you. Non-verbal communication is very important too, especially for someone who is loosing their language skills.
“Because I forget quite quickly what people have said, I tend to get off track. I like it if the person brings me back.”
John
4. Remember that little things can mean a lot – stay in touch
Losing touch with friends can have a huge impact. Keep in touch, even in a small way. It shows you care.
If you can’t be there, a postcard, letter, email or text can still let someone know you’re thinking of them. Brief and frequent is better than a long letter twice a year.
5. Offer practical help
Helping the person tackle something on their “to do” list or running an errand could be useful. If the person is dependent on their carer at home, giving that carer some time out is good.
6. Organise a treat
We all like to be spoiled – it leaves us with a nice feeling, and a welcome break from everyday routine.
7. Help different family members in different ways.
Different family members will be affected in different ways – from emotional impacts to the very practical. Your caring ears and helping hands are often very welcome.
8. Find out more about dementia
The more you understand about dementia, the more comfortable you will feel spending time with the person with dementia or their loved ones. Visit www.bupa.co.nz or call us on 080060 80 99 for more information.
9. Finding help and support
As a person’s ability to remember becomes less, living at home becomes more difficult. For some people, a retirement village can be a half-way step between their own home and going into care. Bupa Retirement Villages can provide additional support and services to help ensure the safety of people with a level of dementia.
For more information, call 0800 60 80 99 or email dementiainfo@bupa.co.nz